The way this story starts is pretty good, but feels rushed and incomplete by the end.
SPOILERS BELOW
The premise is good! Someone finds pictures of a childhood friend, and reminisces of their friendship and falling off.
The writing in the first memory is the best part. A story of two children who like doing things together. Their dialogue feels natural, and the pacing is good!
The last memory feels rushed, the way the children talk feels off. For example, Victor mentioning a company by name and mentions an accident about it, and then drops it. Then their argument feels like it comes too fast.
And then it just ends. Like I feel there was something intended to be added here, but it was cut.
So in general, the start is good, and the general idea of the story works. But I feel this suffered from the time limit. I believe some extra polishing would improve the story
The writing in this VN was wonderful, probably the best from what I've read so far! The way you described the scenes really helped draw me in, especially the first flashback, with the bridge and the stream. It's a little hard to describe, but it felt really nostalgic?
The music and ambiance worked well with the story, though the looping and cut offs between scenes were a bit jarring.
I hope you consider continuing the story in the future, I'd love to read more about what happened between Victor and Caden!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. I was worried with how it would be recieved but the feedback has been mostly postitive so far. Don't worry, Victor and Caden's story is not over yet, and we'll be seeing more of them in the future. Maybe not with this game, but a bigger future project.
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The way this story starts is pretty good, but feels rushed and incomplete by the end.
SPOILERS BELOW
The premise is good!
Someone finds pictures of a childhood friend, and reminisces of their friendship and falling off.
The writing in the first memory is the best part.
A story of two children who like doing things together. Their dialogue feels natural, and the pacing is good!
The last memory feels rushed, the way the children talk feels off.
For example, Victor mentioning a company by name and mentions an accident about it, and then drops it.
Then their argument feels like it comes too fast.
And then it just ends. Like I feel there was something intended to be added here, but it was cut.
So in general, the start is good, and the general idea of the story works. But I feel this suffered from the time limit.
I believe some extra polishing would improve the story
The writing in this VN was wonderful, probably the best from what I've read so far! The way you described the scenes really helped draw me in, especially the first flashback, with the bridge and the stream. It's a little hard to describe, but it felt really nostalgic?
The music and ambiance worked well with the story, though the looping and cut offs between scenes were a bit jarring.
I hope you consider continuing the story in the future, I'd love to read more about what happened between Victor and Caden!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this story. I was worried with how it would be recieved but the feedback has been mostly postitive so far. Don't worry, Victor and Caden's story is not over yet, and we'll be seeing more of them in the future. Maybe not with this game, but a bigger future project.
I was quite invested in the story, but the end was really abrupt there.